Sometimes, I got fed-up poisoning my lungs with smoke. Nak jugak berhenti. Tapi, setiap kali aku rasa bosan, sure I'm getting one for myself. Not only that, everytime aku tak tau nak buat apa, then sure cigarette being my best friend at that moment.
First time I smoked, I wasn't enjoying it. It brought me back to my fifth year at my boarding school when I had my first cigerette after I finished my SPM. Semua kengkawan sekolah nak tengok aku hisap rokok (I was a good boy then!). And at that time, I thought, "what the hell..." and reached a stick of Dunhill and lit it up. Rasa peparu ni macam nak terbakar je. Terbatuk² aku masa tu dan aku rasa macam nak pitam je. And that was the first time. Since then, I never touched any cigarette until...
I was rejected by someone...
And that brought me about 8 years ago! Kejap rasanya dah 8 tahun kan? Hehehe... Banyak dah sel² dalam paru² aku ni mati!. Hehehe... At that time, the world at my eyes was getting smaller and smaller for me. Tak ada lagi rasanya ruang untuk aku menunjukkan muka pada semua orang. Rasa macam dunia dah menutup semua ruang aku untuk bernafas. I was so down at that time. And entah macam mana, all I was thinking was cigarette. And in a blink of an eye (aku dah lupa cemana aku dapat rokok tu!), I was enjoying it. Tak ada rasa nak termuntah, pening or nak pensan. I only enjoying it until I realised I was smoking about a box... in a jiffy!
And the rest is history! Still having it now (still smoking while I'm writing this), only that I do not enjoy it like last time...
Only thinking of quitting. Don't know how...
First time I smoked, I wasn't enjoying it. It brought me back to my fifth year at my boarding school when I had my first cigerette after I finished my SPM. Semua kengkawan sekolah nak tengok aku hisap rokok (I was a good boy then!). And at that time, I thought, "what the hell..." and reached a stick of Dunhill and lit it up. Rasa peparu ni macam nak terbakar je. Terbatuk² aku masa tu dan aku rasa macam nak pitam je. And that was the first time. Since then, I never touched any cigarette until...
I was rejected by someone...
And that brought me about 8 years ago! Kejap rasanya dah 8 tahun kan? Hehehe... Banyak dah sel² dalam paru² aku ni mati!. Hehehe... At that time, the world at my eyes was getting smaller and smaller for me. Tak ada lagi rasanya ruang untuk aku menunjukkan muka pada semua orang. Rasa macam dunia dah menutup semua ruang aku untuk bernafas. I was so down at that time. And entah macam mana, all I was thinking was cigarette. And in a blink of an eye (aku dah lupa cemana aku dapat rokok tu!), I was enjoying it. Tak ada rasa nak termuntah, pening or nak pensan. I only enjoying it until I realised I was smoking about a box... in a jiffy!
And the rest is history! Still having it now (still smoking while I'm writing this), only that I do not enjoy it like last time...
Only thinking of quitting. Don't know how...
